Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
