Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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