You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
