dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
