where am i from again
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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