i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
