**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I love having hate sex.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
