just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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