idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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