I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
