The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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