...so i touched it.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
