please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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