yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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