everyone is single if you try hard enough
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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