there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
