Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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