Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Redeem this text for a blowjob
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
