There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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