sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
