i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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