He kissed a someone with a penis
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
