So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
