Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We are all done wearing pants today
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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