I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
