I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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