how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize