Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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