i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
