just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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