I'm drive I can fine osifer
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
