physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
