You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
