SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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