the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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