You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
