I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
