So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
