in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
