He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
