her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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