it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
