That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
In America we eat man semen.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize