I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
