you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
God, I missed his penis.
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