dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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