Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
