sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
