Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
