Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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