White coat. Heels.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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