The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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