guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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