OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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