I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
time to smoke my breakfast
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Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
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So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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